Communicate in 2002!

Communication is the key to all dog training, people training and virtually any productive interaction between two beings. My experience as a dog and human, trainer has helped me sharpen my communication and listening skills and, although I'm still working on it myself, I'd like to pass on what I've learned so far.

The goal is an "even" exchange of Ideas, during which each party is able to express their feelings, needs and wants, and both listen, feel, analyze, respond and discuss. At anytime during communication, one could be student or teacher. During the course of an exchange the student/teacher roles reverse often. If the experience is pleasant or enlightening, communication will typically continue, if not, it often ends. Forced relationships, such as Dog to Human, or those bound by family, risk ending if the individuals involved don't follow the rules. The "feeling must be mutual", as they say. Some of the communication rules I've learned, and try to live by are as follows:

1) Learn the language and customs of the other party, or get a good translator.

2) Get to the point when expressing ideas. Use examples, and all of your senses. Hear, Look, Feel, Touch or Taste. Remember some "listen" in other ways.

3) Consider how others may feel, but remember you cannot be responsible for their feelings.

4) Listening goes both ways: Pay attention, with all your senses, and make sure the other party does too.

5) If you don't get it, say so! The only stupid question is the one unasked. If your partner is non-verbal, then use those wonderful senses of yours, and hone your ability to understand through your powers of observation.

6) Be honest. Its appreciated, as long as you remember #3. Its not what you say, but how you say it.

7) Understand their point of view. It provides insight into your partner's inner self and they're entitled to their opinion.

8) Express yourself, you may be the teacher. But remember #3. No expression of ideas is wrong even if its not agreed with. Don't assume that anyone already knows how you think or feel. Remember, hate and intolerance are unproductive.

9) Be kind, patient and thoughtful. Think before you speak. It could be the difference between communication and alienation.

10) Judge not your fellow creatures. Each have their reasons, feelings, and thoughts. Blame and excuses are ineffective. Whether or not you agree does not make others thoughts any less valid! Use your own knowledge and wisdom to guide you. Lessons come from mistakes, as well as successes.

Whether the interaction is Human to Human, Dog, Computer or an "Alien" being, I find practical application of these rules are essential for successful communication. Remember, IT GOES BOTH WAYS, and PATIENCE is the key!

The more people I meet, the more I like my DOG, was a bumper sticker I once had. Apparently I had no people skills and my dog still had a lot to teach me. My other bumper sticker was, My Karma ran over my dogma...HMMM...!?!